I need a more stable thought life. I need more passion for God. Perhaps I'll just start writing again. About all the things I care about. Let my emotions out in words. Here you go:
I started to give up on ever finding someone,
Someone to love and protect,
It's not that I don't care but I'm tired of failing,
I'm tired of feeling and having hurt feelings.
It's not that I'm a pessimist,
I'm just really terrified,
Terrified of someone loving me for me,
Having given up opportunities.
I'm tired of failing God,
Of not living the way I know I need to,
I don't like knowing my integrity isn't solid,
I want to be free.
Freedom seems a dream....
