Just English

I don't feel like writing this in Spanish. I want to write and speak in English right now. I'm depressed, a little. I have good times but there seems to be a negative sort of thing overshadowing stuff. I dunno exactly what happened, but I snapped last weekend. I just wanted a cigarette and to hit someone. This whole week I've had too many thoughts at night. I've also taken things more personal. Part of it is about a girl, of course. What I want and what I can have right now are two different things. I'm not scared of a relationship...but I must do what is best for the other 100 people that I am somewhat responsible for. Life with girls is much easier in the States. I don't have as many things and factors to deal with. Blah. I punched the back part of a weight lifting machine until it broke off...that helped me let out some steam. I'm looking forward to crawling out of my funk.

We share the pain/Compartimos el dolor

I've been talking to a lot of friends from home lately. I've finally had internet and the time to do so. I'm somewhat surprised by how similar my friends think like me. The things they struggle with. The wants that they have. The past that they have experienced. It seems that even our pain that we thought was secret, was somehow being shared by all of us. Perhaps it's just a normal human thing. Maybe everyone felt/feels like we do and can't seem to admit that could be true. Deep down in the minds of everyone and in the quite, do we all seem to share the same pains? Do we all long for pretty much the same things? YET, do we also somehow think that others couldn't possibly feel the way we do? I dunno...but I'm proud to have become who I am now. I've come through a lot of things. I think at an age a bit higher than what I am. Life has made me old, but it has not taken my smile.
------------------------------------
He estado hablando con muchos amigos de EEUU últimamente. Por fin he tenido Internet y el tiempo a hacerlo. Estoy un poco sorprendido por la similitud de mis amigos piensan como yo. Las cosas que luchar. Las necesidades que tienen. El pasado que experimentaron. Lo aparece que nuestros dolores que pensaban que estar secretos, era de alguna manera ser compartida por todos nosotros. Posible solo hay una cosa normal para gente. Tal vez cada persona sientó/siente como nosotros pero que no puede admitir que podría ser verdad. Muy bajo en los mentes do todos y en el silencio, es posible que todos comparten los dolores mismos? Queremos los cosas mismas? Y, tambien de alguna manera pensamos que otras no pueden sentir como nosotros? No se....pero estoy orgulloso de quien soy ahora. He llegado a través de un montón de cosas. Pienso a un edad mas mayor que mi edad. La vida me ha hecho viejo, pero no lo ha tomado mi sonrisa.